FORGIVE? No Way, Man! • | Why Forgiveness brings healing

Automated transcript, lightly edited for readability. Scripture appears as spoken; the video is the authoritative teaching.

The Feast Days: A Quick Recap

But let's do a quick recap. We have the spring feasts. We have Passover, Week of Unleavened Bread, and the Feast of Firstfruits packaged nicely into about a week. That's one pilgrimage to Jerusalem. I like to bring this up because we have people all the time learning in the faith. And we have this lonely little feast day by itself, Shavuot, Pentecost. You'll read about that experience in Acts chapter 2—a second pilgrimage to Jerusalem. And then in the fall, we have these feast days, longer than a week. We have Yom Teruah, the Feast of Trumpets, also known as Rosh Hashanah, Head of the Year. We have 10 days, and then we have Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, the Day of At-Wonement.

Five days later, Feast of Tabernacles, Sukkot, followed by Simchat Torah right here at the end. Third pilgrimage to Jerusalem. So Yeshua's already demonstrated for us the Spring Feasts. He's fulfilled those—the death, burial, and resurrection feasts. Then he gave us the Holy Spirit on Shavuot. And over here in the fall, we're still getting ready for him. We just celebrated Yom Teruah, Feast of Trumpets. We have these 10 days that Julia was talking about—the 10 days of awe, the time of self-reflection, repentance. And then we have Yom Kippur, the Sabbath of Sabbaths, the holiest day of the year.

This Isn't an Easy Message

These 10 days. Guys, this message I want to share with you, it ain't an easy message. You ain't going to like it. I know this because as I kind of practiced it, I got madder and madder. It is not in your nature, not in your flesh nature, to want to do things against pride, against selfpreservation, against your personal success. But I'm going to bring to you Matthew 18. For those of you who are still studying your scriptures early on, Matthew 18 is critical for you to know and understand. It is an immediately applicable protocol for how to deal with brothers and sisters, with family, in the faith. The first half of Matthew 18 deserves its own message.

But to paraphrase, it goes something like this. When you experience an offense, the ball is in your court to let the offender know. The offender does not always know they have offended. So you come to the offender and say, you stepped on my toe. I didn't like it. They've got a choice at this point. Oh, really? My bad. I'm sorry. And they ask for forgiveness, which you'll give—or they'll blow you off. Now, because they have that option of rejecting you, most of us don't want to take it to them. We're offended. Do they do it intentionally or not? I don't know. Heck, I don't want to take it to them, let them know I was hurt and offended, and then have them reject me.

So for that reason, at least among others, that's why we don't do it. But the ball is still in your court. You cannot just sit offended. You have to let it be known. It's only fair. So you take it to this person. If they don't respond in a way that's good for reconciliation, you level up. You escalate it to some brothers and sisters within your circle of church. And you take it to the next level. Guys, listen. They stepped on my toe. I told them. They didn't care. It still hurts. And you will try to get that reconciliation. And then it gets to a level that I just don't understand. You're supposed to bring it before the church, a.k.a. church leadership—still in private.

There's a way to do this. They stepped on my toe. Everybody talked to them. They wouldn't listen. And you have to seek reconciliation that way. And God forbid they get to a place where they can't come back to fellowship because they stepped on people's toes. So that's the first part of Matthew 18—terrible paraphrasing. It deserves its own message. Please read it and understand it. So it's proper protocol for reconciliation within the family. This is a family message.

The King, the Servants, and the Debt

Then there's the second half of Matthew 18. I want to set the scene. Jesus is talking to his disciples. He's talking to Christians. He's not talking to just anyone. That's what makes this message particularly difficult. I'm going to paraphrase. Y'all can get my version. Jesus starts this parable speaking to his disciples. He says, there's a king who wants to settle his accounts with the servants, all of whom owe different sums of money. He calls in the first servant. It's time to pay up. We have a balance. I'd like to call that into account. It's a staggering amount—more than the man could possibly pay.

Millions. He says, I can't pay it. I can't pay it yet, king. No. Sell him. Sell him and his wife and his children and all that he has. Sell it. And that can go toward the debt. Oh, please, King, almighty one, please be patient with me. I can do it. I can pay you back. Please, please don't sell me off. The king is moved in pity. Okay, I'll show you grace and mercy. But boy, you did a good job. I forgive you all of your debt—all the millions. All the interest—I'm forgiving it. The balance is clear. Almighty King, you're so amazing. Thank you so much. The servant leaves, immediately finds a fellow servant, a second servant.

Scripture says he chokes him and says, Pay me that smaller amount of money—thousands of dollars. You owe me. That second servant says, Please, please be patient with me. I will pay you back. And the first servant isn't moved. And says, For this, I will turn you over to the jailers to be tortured until you pay back every cent. End of parable. And Jesus says to his disciples, this is what my Father will do to you if you do not forgive your brothers and your sisters from the heart.

This is harsh. So let's unpack this parable, shall we?

Unpacking the Parable

So the king is God. That's fair. Servants, us. Who is the jailer? The devil. He fits the first role. Antagonist. What is jail? So if the jailer is going to torture, since it's dealing with a lesson of forgiveness, we'll say it's the offense. And so now I want to paint the picture of what it looks like practically. Somebody does something to my brother, Brad here—pick on you. Get that privilege. Don't you? I do something that makes him mad—really irritating, hurts his credibility, hurts him. It hurts him, makes him mad. So he's sitting there mad. He could forgive me. But what do we do? Not yet. Forgiveness ain't easy.

As time goes on, for a moment, he might forget about that offense. Ah, but the jailer—who he gave to Satan, Hasatan. See, Satan's also known as the reminder of wrongs. The prosecutor in the courts. The one that brings up the offense often. So he'll take that shank and reach into jail. You remember what he did? Yeah, I do. And it hurts. Rewind, play. Remember? He does this day after day, reminding you of the offense. And Brad might find himself ruminating. You don't ever ruminate, do you, brother? It's complete torture. It is torture. Hearing the offense—rewind, play. Rewind, play. Rewind, play. Satan's doing his job.

He's really good at it. Just as you get a moment of relief, it's torture. It is torture. Especially if you've experienced a real offense—family or somebody you cared about or trusted. Man, it hurts.

The Key to Forgiveness

Jesus tells us the key is between our feet. If I don't pick up that key, I'll forgive them. Let's say we pick up the key and we forgive them. Satan hasn't quit his job. He's good at it. So you've forgiven him and you get reminded again. Here's the hardest thing about true forgiveness. It's not a one-time thing. It's constant. And some days it's hard to forgive and keep that momentum. But if this is a message of forgiveness, just forgiving is too easy. We're going to level it up. We're going to look at Jesus on the cross. He's surrounded by folks that are mocking him, spitting at him, offending him. And he does something absolutely insane. He forgives them. And then he intercedes for them. Father, forgive them. They know not what they do. What are you doing? They're doing this to you. Actively doing this to you. And you're forgiving them in real time and interceding.

So you know how hard it is to forgive. And how hard it is to get somebody to pray for other people. And how hard it is to get people to pray in such a way that they're in that spot with that person—an intercessor. But to intercede for the one who is immediately offending you—

Christ-Like Intercession

Let's call that Christ-like intercession. Gold coin, it's up there. Very rare, very valuable. Doesn't happen much at all. Who are we supposed to be like? Pin that. Let's try to apply that. Let's say old Brad, my dear brother, he's offended. Somebody's bothering him. He's working through it. I forgive you. I forgive you. Let's level it up and intercede for the offender. That sorry brother of mine, Jason, he did such and such. I forgive him. And Lord, I pray that you will help him see that he doesn't step on people's toes anymore, that he'll quit that, that whatever is hurting him that makes him hurt others, because hurt people hurt people. Christy Bush, is that right? Whatever it is in his life that he needs to be better, to get past his hurt, that he doesn't offend others. Whatever it is, Father, I lift them up. In that moment, as hard as it is against flesh, you've forgiven them and you're interceding for them. Who does this imitate? It imitates Christ.

A Nuclear Bomb in Heaven

So I'm going to take you into my imagination. Where I picture in heaven, the angel's like, did you see that? Father, did you see that? Did you see that? Father's like, I did. I did see that. And it reminds me of my boy. I think this one's about to get a whole handful of blessing. See, guys, what we find is that any time you remind heaven or creation of the Messiah, you get movement. Consider this like a nuclear bomb in the spiritual realm. To be able to be offended, forgive, and then intercede as a royal priesthood you're called to be is powerful. See, we know priest's job is to mediate between man and God.

King's job is to mediate between man and man. And Christ is our king and priest forever. He's trying to keep everybody getting along. You know, I imagine the Father often at a big family gathering, a big family dinner. Lots of people, lots of people, family, in-laws, outlaws. Just big, big, big. And he's resourced everything. The house, the castle, the food, everything. And what do you want? You want everybody to have a good time and you want peace. But they are arguing over here. They had to do nothing for this meal. They had to do nothing for this fellowship. They had to do nothing for this family.

Why are they bickering over here? And this one over here, it's almost worse. They're passive-aggressive. They're offended and they're squirreling it away for a rainy day. And you're sitting there as the father. This gets irritating. Because what does the Father want? He wants peace, joy. He wants what we want. And he knows what it's going to take to get there.

The Cycle: Forgive and Intercede Again

I want to go back to Christ-like level intercession. His work is hard, yeah. So he did it one time. Brad has forgiven Jason. He's interceded. Until Satan comes along and does what he does so well. You remember? You remember. You're like, yeah, yeah, I remember. I forgive. I forgive. And not only do I forgive, but once again, Father, I lift up Jason. I pray for your hand in his life, that you will meet every need, meet him where he is, and bring him to a better version of himself, whatever it is he needs. Specifically, usually interceding for that offense. And then Satan, doing a great job, will continue to faithfully remind you to intercede as you should.

See, that is the proper function—because we know that we're supposed to forgive, commanded to do that, not commanded to trust. That's a different topic. I'll pause for just a minute. I'm going to do a little exit. When Yeshua is up on the cross and he forgives the people and he intercedes for them, that is forgiveness and intercession. Over here on the side, John, behold, Mom. Mom, behold, John. He gave them to one another to look after each other because he didn't trust those rats. Trust is a different thing. You know how you love a porcupine? From a distance. Every time you get close to this person you trust and you get hurt, use some wisdom.

Indiscretion in your trust is foolishness. I only had to put that in there because a lot of people feel like if you genuinely forgive someone, you can trust them again. That's not necessarily the case at all.

The Nuclear Bomb of Intercession

Nuclear bomb. When you do Christ-like intercession—accepting offense and specifically forgiving and specifically interceding for that. All right, so... We got people out there that keep praying, God, use me. He goes, all right. So we got Ronald Lee over here. Ronald Lee got something about her that God wants to work on. Or better yet, here's something here. Somebody on the outside. We're going to make her a good guy. Tina. I don't know no Tinas here. So Tina's over here on the side, and God wants to do a work in her. Maybe she calls people names, ugly names, or negative, or just crushes people. God says, I want to do a work in this person's life.

I got Ronald Lee over here saying, Lord, use me. All right. I am going to allow Tina to offend Ronald Lee. And she's going to do what she's supposed to and drop a nuclear bomb on this topic. Tina comes along at some point, calls Ronald Lee a bee. Bothers Ronald Lee a lot. Maybe it's a trigger. Who knows? Really bothers her a lot. So she immediately feels the sting of offense. It's there and it's real and it's okay to feel it. It's unavoidable. And then she chooses to, okay, I heard this principle. I'm going to try to apply it. I'm going to apply it. I forgive Tina for what she said. And Father, I pray for healing in Tina's life and in her mind and in her spirit so such things do not pour from her heart ever again.

She can have a relationship with you as she should. And this nuclear bomb happens and begins to destroy these evil principalities and powers in her life. That's what we do, isn't it? So that's what God's counting on because he's given us the title and he's given us the job of being priests, intercessors. He's given us all of these tasks to do. We don't do it. A lot of us, like Randall Lee might be, sit over here mad and hurt and reminded over and over and over of the pain, experiencing torture. So when we're not doing what we're supposed to be doing, we feel torture.

What's Really Important

This is a tough message because it gets deeper. You see, how important is this? I mean, in all seriousness, it seems awful easy to have some issue squirreled away and leave it alone. That inlaw or whatever, just bring it up again. Every time you bring it up, when exterminators spray for bugs, it increases activity for a while, right? Nobody wants to deal with it. Just let it lay. Cockroach once in a while. God wants you to spray, increases activity, but eventually cleans the house. Hard to do. Reconciliation. So about four weeks ago, I started a job in radiology. I'm an MRI tech. I picked up a job in a hospital in Charlotte that's partnered with St. Jude Children's Hospital. So we do MRIs on young people, and they're not well. I've been in radiology some 26 years. Never worked somewhere where you have to work with kids like this, this frequently. Brain tumors, twisted spines, things that just ought not be. It's hard to see the kids.

For me, it's looking in those parents' eyes, because some of them, they have Jesus. Some of them had Jesus. Now they blame God. It's an awful place. And some have nothing. So you see a full range of how these parents respond. And I wondered to myself: their priorities. Are they worried about getting the trash out before Monday morning's trash day? This becomes your new point of reference for what's important. And I'm looking at them like, man, I got somebody over here, a co-worker, trying to get to lunch. They don't need lunch. Look at them. And these people are dealing with what they're dealing with. This week, I was asked to preach a funeral for a friend of Katie and mine. They found their 33-year-old son in an apartment, passed away. It just so happens to be the two-year anniversary of her daughter also dying. Completely unrelated. What's important?

The Cup We Don't Want to Drink

You know, the mistake of all mankind across the world forever and ever is believing you have more time. I got more time. So I sit here thinking, how important is this? Days of awe, this... this whole bit. Look at this kind of stuff. Well, let's take a look. Let's dare to ask God how important it is. Jesus is in the Garden of Gethsemane. He knows what's about to take place very soon. He's going to be up on the cross. He don't want to go through this. We talk about the power of God in Jesus' life a lot. Sometimes I find myself identifying a little bit more with the flesh part of Jesus. He didn't want to go.

He said so. So he prays to the Father three times. May this cup pass from me. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Not my will, which is I don't want to go, but your will be done. So when you look at the cross today, you're reminded of God's love. Jesus did not go to the cross because he wanted to. Is that fair to say? He went to the cross out of obedience. He gets up on that cross because the Father tells him this is the cup. You have to do it. And the verse comes true, for God so loved the world that he gave his son who didn't want to get up on that cross, that whoever dares to believe in him will not have death but everlasting life. Jesus didn't want to do it either.

Why Reconciliation Matters

Forgiving and reconciliation, how important is it? You see, if we have reconciliation with the Father and we have reconciliation with one another, our family, we can get through the brain tumors. We can get through the funerals. We can get through. God knows that if the family can stay cohesive, not passive-aggressive, not holding all against one another, we can get through everything else. But when you're by yourself and you don't have anyone, you're hurt and rejected from everyone because you've been offended and didn't share it, you can't get through that stuff alone or it's awful hard.

These Ten Days

These 10 days are all, for me, they're tough because I'm sitting here every time I was going through what I was going to share with you guys, I didn't even want to take notes because it's just so heavy on my heart. I'm a student of forgiveness. I don't think I'll ever be a master of it. I was, "Hmm, hmm, I won't forgive them." Why is it we don't want to forgive them? So it's funny, I was talking to Beverly walking in, and she goes, "Yeah, I hear you're going to do a message on forgiveness." I'm like, "Yeah." She goes, "I don't like that." I'm like, "Me neither. That's probably why we need to do it, I reckon."

And then I come across sweet sister Angie Clark. She goes, "I love this time of year." I'm like, "You must have took care of all your problems before." Can you fathom what it feels like to be clear of it all? You can? I got to get there. So even today, no one there — let's see how we can apply this. Anybody here ever have road rage? Keep your hand down, Brad, my boy. I got a trucker over here with road rage. Forgive him. Intercede for them. Lord, help them get where they're going. Keep them safe. May they not get a ticket. This can be hard, right? So to go be Jesus means do what you don't want to do.

Crawl up on a cross and let pride die. Dare to have the courage that Joshua was told to have and bring forward your offenses. Be ready to forgive.

Forgive, Forgive, Forgive

See, when you participate in all facets of this, you forgive people easier because you want to be forgiven easier. Man, it hit me like a ton of bricks. We just did the Lord's Prayer. Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. It's saturated throughout the message. Forgive, forgive, forgive. And even though we get to do it every day of the year, these 10 days we are encouraged to very much probe, very much prepare yourself. Leave your sacrifices at the altar and try to rectify things with your brother and your sister. Because we want the family dinner to be all joy, all peace, and all support for those who need it. Ten days of all. So Yom Kippur is coming up. We're going to have services coming Tuesday. Hopefully by then you've had time to go be Jesus. My intent was not for this to be at all a lengthy message, because you can't handle so much if you don't forgive. You're going to be tortured with every time you're reminded.

Gene Wagstaff's Chainsaw

Now, I had my mentor who shared this with me, and he said something that was very encouraging. He said, you go to a restaurant and you order a steak — do you plan on paying for it? Yeah, of course you do. So when God orders something to be done and you do what you're supposed to do, he'll tip you too. You're not working for the tip. You're doing what you're supposed to do to serve the Father. Gene Wagstaff was the name of my mentor that shared this whole concept with me. I'm still learning, Gene, sorry buddy. But I asked him, I said, "At what point does Satan stop poking? Where's the end of the assignment for him?"

He said, "It's an interesting concept, Jason. One of two things will happen. You're interceding for this person and breakthrough happens. And when breakthrough happens, you'll know it because you'll stop hearing it — the reminder of wrongs — because mission accomplished. Or they've been turned over to a reprobate mind on that topic. The nuclear bomb was ineffective, and Satan will once again stop reminding you." When you don't feel it anymore, or reminded of it anymore, something's taking place, and you hope for the very, very best of it. He was telling me about cutting trees in his backyard with a chainsaw.

Went inside, used the restroom, came out, and somebody stole his chainsaw. He was telling me about it — he was just about done, "Lord, I forgive them. May they enjoy that chainsaw." So he told the story. Sure enough, somebody gave him a nice chainsaw. Now, it might have been because he told the story — let's be fair, I don't know. But he said, "If you will be faithful to the charge given to you, God will not fail to reward you. Because he's no different than any other parent — do your chores, you get an allowance, right?"

Come Forward

Worship team, I'm going to ask you to go ahead and join me up here. And guys, I'm going to encourage all of us, all right? Because during this message, I was reminded of at least one or two. I'm going to ask everyone to stand — you don't have to come up here, but at least while the worship team plays, I want you to dare to at least ponder this process for those people in your life that's offended you. And man, it's hard, unless you just live a better life now. It's tough finding somebody that you're going to forgive, and you're going to pray to the Father on their behalf for the very thing they offended you for, and be prepared to do it again and again, and get our hearts ready for the day of atonement — at one, not only with the Father, but with one another.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, it was my prayer to deliver your potent, grace-impactful nugget of a message — a jagged little pill. Father, it takes an uncanny amount of courage to dare to bring up issues that seem better in the closet with the door shut. But Father, we know that you want to permeate every space in the house. You don't want no bugs. Father, I pray for everyone who hears this message today to be given the opportunity to receive the courage required to dare look at the issue and the topic again. To dare recognize that they're being tortured when they're reminded of it — the hurt and the sting of the offense.

And to understand the intent of that is to remind them to forgive the one who done it, who very well may not deserve it. And after forgiving them, asking you to forgive them, and to heal them, and to meet them. That we can be like our master who didn't want to go to that cross, but he did it because he said to do it, and he knew it was the right thing. And when we do this act, just as Christ does the act of getting on the cross, this will be a memorial for all to remember God's love of not only the earth, but his family. He wants peace. Everyone's peace. He wants you to have peace. It's not easy. If you're watching online, this message is no less intimate for you.

No such thing as coincidence. These 10 days of awe are not any more special than any other day for reconciliation and fellowships and relationships, but it is a call. The trumpets have been blown, making way for the Messiah, and he wants to come and have a dinner with us. Everybody's in good spirits. No one's in the corner hurting alone. So Father, we do pray for this courage. I encourage every one of you to come forward, like I will be here in just a moment, and dare to forgive someone I don't think deserves it. But it's cross time — promise of all that is to come as we lay our lives down and position ourselves underneath your wing, walking in your way.

We bless you, Yeshua. We thank you.

Shema

Sing the Shema with me. Shema Israel. Adonai. Adonai. Hear, O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one. Blessed is the name of his glorious kingdom for all eternity.

And may the Lord, the God of patience and encouragement, grant you to be like-minded with one another in the manner of Messiah, so that together with one voice you glorify the God and Father of our Lord Yeshua Messiah. And may the Lord bless you, and may he keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift up his countenance toward you and give you his peace. Peace. Shalom. Shabbat shalom. Amen. Shalom.

Closing

We pray this message has blessed and encouraged you and your relationship with God, and we hope that it has made the Bible more beautiful and more powerful in its impact in your life. Founded in Truth Fellowship exists to build a community that bears the image of God and lives the redeemed life only Yeshua gives. If this message has blessed you, or if you see God working in and through this ministry, we invite you to prayerfully consider partnering with us so that the message of Yeshua and the truth of God's word continues to reach all nations. If you would like to take part in this mission, then you can do so at foundinthetruth.com slash give, or you can scan the QR code on the screen. These offerings go toward providing resources for both our local fellowship as well as our online ministry, but also our many outreach ministries, including our foster care and adoption ministry, local charity outreach ministry, our international online children's ministry, and any future ministries that the Lord would allow us to walk through and walk in to impact the world around us with his love and the bold proclamation of the gospel of King Yeshua.

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