Taming the Tongue

The Immense Power of a Small Member

Matthew Vander Els of Founded In Truth Fellowship begins his teaching by highlighting the often-underestimated power of the tongue, a seemingly small and insignificant part of our bodies. He points out that this “hole in your face” with its “big flap with a little flapper” can be the source of immense destruction, capable of ruining not only one’s own life but also the lives of everyone we encounter. This potential for harm arises from the incorrect use of our speech, emphasizing the critical need for intentionality and control in our communication.

Drawing from Jewish tradition, Vander Els introduces the concept of Lashon Hara, which translates to “the evil tongue” or “evil speech,” encompassing actions such as gossip and slander. He notes that while scripture frequently addresses the subject of our speech, it is often overlooked in favor of other theological discussions. To address this, the teaching focuses on the practical application of biblical principles regarding the use of our words, turning to James chapter 3 for foundational insights.

The Treacherous Road of Speech

James 3:2 states, “For we all stumble in many ways.” This verse immediately establishes the common struggle humanity faces in controlling their speech. Matthew Vander Els emphasizes that the road of speech and communication is fraught with “potholes” where we can easily “trip and fall.” He highlights that if anyone can master their speech, they would be considered a perfect individual, capable of bridling their entire body, much like a bit controls a horse. This illustrates the profound impact our words have on our whole being and our ability to influence our actions.

The teaching identifies several key “potholes” in our speech that can lead to significant damage:

• Slander: Spreading false and damaging information about someone.
• Lying: Intentionally misrepresenting the truth.
• Gossip: Talking about the private affairs of others.
• Bragging or Gloating: Exalting oneself and one’s accomplishments.
• Complaining: Expressing dissatisfaction repeatedly without seeking solutions.
• Disparaging Remarks: Making critical and belittling comments about others.
• Discouraging Others: Speaking words that undermine someone’s spirit or efforts.
• Profane Language: While not solely referring to “cuss words” in the common understanding, it encompasses speech that doesn’t align with being an example of “salt and light” in society. It signifies putting down others rather than uplifting.
• Not Following Our Word: Failing to keep promises and commitments.
• Fits of Rage: Outbursts of anger expressed through uncontrolled speech.

The Destructive Power Illustrated

To further illustrate the power of the tongue, James 3:3-5 draws analogies to a horse’s bit and a ship’s rudder, emphasizing how a small instrument can control a much larger entity. Similarly, the tongue, though a small member, “boasts of great things” and can ignite a “great forest” with its words, much like a small fire can lead to widespread destruction. The tongue is described as a fire, a “world of unrighteousness,” capable of staining the whole body and setting the entire course of life ablaze, fueled by hell itself.

Vander Els uses the imagery of a lighter, not just any lighter, but one “formed in the depths of hell,” to represent the tongue. Each flick of this lighter releases destructive fire. He also compares the church, the “bride of Messiah,” to a woman in a beautiful white dress, which can be stained by the “vomit of the intentions of her heart” expressed through uncontrolled speech. This highlights how our words can defile our witness and our standing before God.

Blessing and Cursing with the Same Tongue

James 3:9-10 points out the contradictory nature of using the same tongue to “bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God.” Matthew Vander Els clarifies that in this context, “bless” (Greek: eulogeo) means to praise or uplift, while “curse” (Greek: kataraomai) means to cause harm and put down. He argues that it is incongruous to uplift God with our words and then use the same instrument to tear down our fellow brothers and sisters. Such behavior “ought not to be so.”

Guarding Our Mouths and Hearts

Recognizing the challenge of taming the tongue, the teaching emphasizes the importance of guarding our mouths. Psalms 141:3 is presented as a vital prayer: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” This daily plea for divine assistance highlights our dependence on God’s help in controlling our speech.

The “THINK” Acronym: A Practical Filter

To aid in making conscious choices about our speech, the “THINK” acronym is introduced as a valuable tool:

• T: Is it True? While truth is important, it alone does not justify saying something.
• H: Is it Helpful? Will your words benefit the other person?
• I: Is it Inspiring? Will your words uplift and encourage?
• N: Is it Necessary? Is there a genuine need to say what you’re thinking?
• K: Is it Kind? Are your words delivered with compassion and consideration?

Speaking Life and Encouragement

In contrast to destructive speech, the teaching emphasizes the power of words to bring life and encouragement. Colossians 3:8 urges believers to “put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.” Our words have the power to plant thoughts and images in other people’s minds, highlighting the responsibility we have in the content we share.

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Application for Everyday Life

• Practice self-awareness: Recognize the power of your words and the potential for both good and harm in your speech.
• Pause and THINK before speaking: Use the “THINK” acronym as a filter to evaluate the truthfulness, helpfulness, inspiration, necessity, and kindness of your intended words.
• Guard your mouth: Make a conscious effort to control what you say, praying for God’s help in doing so (Psalms 141:3).
• Avoid gossip and slander: Refuse to participate in conversations that involve speaking negatively about others behind their backs.
• Address offenses directly: If someone offends you, follow the biblical model in Matthew 18:15 by speaking to them privately first, with the goal of reconciliation.
• Choose encouraging words: Intentionally speak words that uplift, support, and build others up (Proverbs 12:25).
• Speak truth with gentleness and respect: Even when addressing difficult topics or sharing truth, do so in a way that is considerate and aims to help the other person receive the message (Proverbs 15:1).