Taming The Tongue

The power of words is immense. In a recent teaching from Founded in Truth Fellowship, Matthew Vander Els delves deep into the biblical perspective on the tongue and its potential to build up or destroy. This message centers around the idea that our speech, though seemingly small, can have lasting effects on ourselves and those around us.

The Untamed Tongue: A Small Spark with a Big Impact

James 3:5-6 illustrates the profound impact of our words: “Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire…” The tongue, though tiny, holds the power to ignite a wildfire of destruction.

Vander Els emphasizes this by stating, “This hole in your face has the power to completely destroy lives.” He likens the tongue to a small flame that can consume an entire forest, highlighting the devastating effects of careless speech.

Ways Our Words Can Harm

An untamed tongue can manifest in various destructive ways:

• Slander: Spreading false or harmful statements about others.
• Lying: Deceiving others intentionally.
• Gossip: Sharing private information without consent.
• Bragging: Boasting to elevate oneself over others.
• Complaining: Habitually expressing dissatisfaction.
• Disparaging Remarks: Criticizing or belittling others.
• Discouragement: Bringing others down with negative comments.
• Profanity: Using offensive or vulgar language.
• Fits of Rage: Letting anger fuel hurtful speech.

These actions not only harm others but also reflect poorly on our character. The ripple effect of negative words can damage relationships and tear communities apart.

Guarding Our Speech: Practical Steps to Tame the Tongue

Taming the tongue isn’t easy, but it’s essential for personal growth and harmonious relationships. Here are practical steps to help control our speech:

1. Set a Guard Over Your Mouth

Recognize the need for divine assistance. Psalm 141:3 says, “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Ask for guidance in speaking wisely.

2. THINK Before You Speak

Use the acronym THINK as a filter for your words:

• T – Is it True?
• H – Is it Helpful?
• I – Is it Inspiring?
• N – Is it Necessary?
• K – Is it Kind?

This simple checklist can prevent hurtful or unnecessary comments from slipping out.

3. Address Offenses Directly

Avoid gossip by confronting issues privately. Matthew 18:15 instructs, “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you…” Open communication fosters understanding and reconciliation.

4. Conceal Minor Offenses

Choose to let go of trivial matters. Proverbs 17:9 advises, “Whoever would foster love covers over an offense…” Overlooking minor slights can prevent unnecessary conflicts.

5. Choose Encouraging Words

Your words have the power to uplift. Proverbs 12:25 notes, “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” Make a conscious effort to speak life into others.

6. Avoid Gossip Circles

Proverbs 20:19 warns, “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.” Surround yourself with people who promote positive and constructive conversations.

The Power of Life and Death

Proverbs 18:21 declares, “The tongue has the power of life and death…” This underscores the immense responsibility that comes with our ability to speak. Our words can either build someone up or tear them down.

Vander Els challenges us to “stab people with life,” meaning we should use our words to inject positivity and encouragement into the lives of others.

Building a Supportive Community

Imagine a community where everyone is intentional about their speech. Encouragement becomes the norm, and relationships flourish. Ephesians 4:29 encourages this by stating, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…“

Applications for Everyday Life

Implementing these teachings can transform your daily interactions:

• Practice Active Listening: Give others your full attention before responding.
• Pause Before Speaking: Take a moment to consider your words carefully.
• Encourage Others: Make it a habit to offer genuine compliments or affirmations.
• Avoid Negative Talk: Steer conversations away from gossip or criticism.
• Reflect Daily: Assess your conversations at the end of each day and identify areas for improvement.

By consciously applying these steps, you can foster more meaningful and positive relationships.

Recommended Resources

For those seeking to dive deeper into this topic, consider these insightful books:

• “30 Days to Taming Your Tongue” by Deborah Smith Pegues – A practical guide to mastering your words.
• “The Proverbs 31 Woman: God’s Work in Progress” by Elizabeth George – Insights into living a life of virtue, including speech.
• “Respectable Sins: Confronting the Sins We Tolerate” by Jerry Bridges – Addresses subtle sins like careless speech.

Final Thoughts

Controlling our tongues is a challenging but essential part of spiritual growth. By acknowledging the power of our words and striving to speak with intention and kindness, we honor God and strengthen our relationships.

Remember the wisdom of James 1:19: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” Let’s commit to cultivating speech that reflects love, grace, and wisdom.

For more teachings and insights, visit the Founded in Truth Fellowship YouTube channel.

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